How does Superman get adjusted?

Fair warning:  This is the geekiest blog post you’ll ever read.  It was written for three reasons.

1. We’re health geeks and superhero fan geeks, in case you haven’t figured that out yet.
2. When Natalia falls down or gets hurt in some way, Agostino has often said, “Super Stino to the rescue!” I suppose he’s inspired us.  Or maybe it’s the other way around.
3. And lastly, Comic-Con International: San Diego begins July 21^st.  I’ll go to that convention someday.

You’ve been warned… Enjoy the ridiculousness!

(Also, we should specify that this is Dr. Dave speaking.)

If Superman were to come in to my office, could I be his chiropractor?

I assume I can take specific x-rays on this superhero, and I should be able to perform a paraspinal thermographic scan to determine his central nervous system balance/imbalance.  However, I would not be able to physically adjust him.

I mean, this is the Man of Steel!

I can envision 4 ways to adjust Superman:

1. A Kryptonian chiropractor would need to make the adjustment. A fellow yellow-sun-enhanced Kryptonian would be equally strong as Superman and would have the capability of making the specific, physical correction of the super, steel atlas.
2. Magic! Since we are in fantasy world, and in case you didn’t already know, Superman is susceptible to magic.  Perhaps a spell or magic totem could temporarily make Kal-El experience the physical existence of us regular humans.
3. Green kryptonite. Green kryptonite weakens and cripples the great Superman.  I’m not crazy about this option.  This would be a last resort, break-glass-in-case-of-emergency situation.
4. This last option would require green kryptonite and either a strike of lightning or another form of high voltage shock, which could transfer his powers to me.  I would have no issue with adjusting him if I had his abilities, but would I give the powers back?  That would likely be too tempting to give up!  Although, I assume my human frame would not be able to hold up the powers for any length of time.

Here’s the dilemma…

I don’t want to put Superman in a vulnerable state, which would be required for options 2, 3, and 4, even if it would help me to adjust him.  (Technically, if he needs adjusted, he’s already in a vulnerable state, but of course, I wouldn’t want to make him weaker in order to adjust him!)

With that said, I think I prefer option 1, where I would act as a consultant or instructor for the fictional, Kryptonian chiropractor-stand-in.  While it would not be ideal to have an untrained individual, super or not, to act as a chiropractor, this unique situation would require the necessity of the speed and strength of an enhanced being from another planet.

I considered still using my own hands and having the Kryptonian chiropractor-stand-in assist with the super force, but I don’t know… that might break my hands!

After an intensive training, I believe that I could teach our super Kryptonian chiropractor-stand-in to make an adjustment with me guiding him/her through every step of the process.  In the DC Comics Universe, Superman’s cousin, Kara-El (aka Supergirl), would be the best option!  With a little patience, some guidance, and positive encouragement, I truly believe that I could facilitate the life-enhancing specific adjustment to optimize the already super spine and nervous system of my favorite red and blue superhero!

(I hope I didn’t geek-out there too much for you!)

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